Express Yourself

I used to be really irritated by the cliche 'express yourself' and the idea that the arts are necessary for self-expression as if that's all arts in schools are about. Now with all this instant messaging and FBooking and tweeting and self-publishing of mediocrity, isn't there a whole lot self-expression? Has it made us more critical thinkers, more peaceful people?
I am not about to jump on the bandwagon and go clappy clappy hurrah hurrah self-expression. I'm still trying to resolve where I want to go with my creativity. While I'm all for using the technology as appropriate I spent quite a bit of time lately wondering whether using mediums just for the sake of use, is bordering on abuse. What standards are we setting for quality creative expression?
I don't think I can stand the idea of attaching my name to mediocrity.

Franco

Tonight I looked at my 'Franco' and I said 'yes I really like that pest of a dog'! He has ol' girl Mavis's colouring but his disposition is oh so different. I don't understand how I can look at photos of Mavis and still feel a bit mushy. I really did love that dog.

But I am coming to an appreciation of cosmic change. Franco doesn't replace Mavis just because he looks like her. His personality is too distinctive to make that mistake. But I think of how perhaps how his energy is infectious; his playfulness delightful, and his fearlessness admirable. Such an illogical reach here, but could Mavis's neuroses have been equally infectious? The months and months of worry over thunderstorms and how she would cope might very well have carried over into worry over ridiculous things.

But Mavis died...she was in her typical state of stress over a thunderstorm and she led herself to her demise. For all my anxiety or protections and cautions, there was no changing the course of nature. The only thing I could have changed was how much I worried.

Recently, after months of psychic paralysis, I feel ready to take up challenges I had neglected. I feel my anxieties peeling away. I feel ready to pursue this character who has started speaking to me again. I am ready to write again. I actually feel strong enough this time. I actually believe my characters are not more than I can chew. I think I really have stopped caring 'what will they think?!'I think I really have absorbed Franco's energy and allowed my bohemian, steppenwolfish nature to just be.

And so I sigh, thank God for furry, funky, 2 o 'clock in the morning barking, biting at my handbags or shoes whenever I return home, bright eyes and come play with me stare, man's best friend and new found psychic fortress.

Namaste